Aidpage

So, I just posted my first blog on Aidspace, and I noticed that I sounded desperate and negative. I told my self this morning to look for the love around me. I live with five children two are my own the other three are my roomie's children. With all the craziness that comes with them I have no time to wallow in my misery. When they are gone, I miss my ex husband (even though he was abusive), I allow myself to feel as if I amount to nothing, I crave drugs and or alcohol. So, today, after my roomie went to work, I embraced the children and had a great time. We played basket ball out side and went window shopping. So I thank God for the love of the children around me. They are a challenge, especially the teenage boys, however, I think that I need them just as much as they need me. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to warm my heart at night or when I am alone? I guess I mean, the sick lonley feeling that I get, does anyone have any suggestions to get over that feeling? Thanks and keep Trukkin.